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Bob Gets Glasses/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Bob Gets Glasses. Transcript (Scene opens to Bob looking over his weather-measuring machine.) Bob: Hmm. Hmm. (Bob then writes something down on the clipboard that he is holding. Larry comes up to Bob while wearing glasses.) Larry: Nothing anything different about me, Bob? Bob: A suntan? Larry: No. Bob: Less body spray? Larry: Nope. Bob: New haircut? Larry: Uh, no! I got glasses! Bob: I didn't know you needed glasses. Larry: Neither did I until someone explained to me that everything isn't supposed to be an indistinguishable blur of color smudges. Bob: Well, they look very nice, Larry. Larry: Thanks, Bob. Say, you think these things are gonna make me smarter? Bob: Wearing glasses doesn't make one smart. You have to learn and study, like I am right now with my weather machine. Larry: An acute triangle is a triangle with big eyes, whiskers, and a scrunchy little nose. Jimmy: Oh, wow, Larry, you're really smart. (Bob becomes jealous.) Larry: Thank you. (takes off his glasses) I always knew I was smarter than I was- Jimmy: Wait, now you're not smart. I don't know what happened. (Larry puts his glasses back on.) Jimmy: What a genius! (Larry takes off his glasses again.) Jimmy: Nope, it's gone. (Larry puts his glasses back on again.) Jimmy: We're in the presence of greatness! A prodigy! A wonder cuke- (Larry once again takes off his glasses.) Jimmy: I take it all back. Come on, Jerry. Jerry: (squawks) (Jimmy and Jerry leave, while Larry puts his glasses back on and faces Bob again.) Larry: See? These glasses do make me smart! Bob: No, Larry, you can't just put on some glasses and suddenly you're much smarter. (Mayor Archibald comes up to Larry.) Archibald: You're suddenly much smarter, Larry. Bob: Oh, come on! (Junior skateboards up to Bob and Larry.) Junior: Larry? I didn't know you became a scientist. Larry: Neither did I! Bob: He didn't! What about me? I've got this complicated weather machine that I've mastered! (grunting) Everyone knows it takes a lot of smarts to operate this complicated machi- Ow! (Bob comes up with an idea, as the light bulb on the machine lights up from above his head.) Bob: I know! I'll get my own glasses and take back my rightful place as the smartypants in town! Ha! (Bob rushes off, leaving Larry and Junior behind.) Junior: Can you see through walls with those things? Larry: Uh, yeah! I can see through that wall! Junior: That's a window. (Scene switches to Bob looking at the glasses display at Pa Grape's store.) Bob: Okay, just gotta find the right pair to compliment my brilliance! And my cheek bones. (Bob picks up a pair of rectangular glasses.) Bob: I need smarter. (Cut to Bob now wearing a pair of circular glasses.) Bob: Smarter. (Cut to Bob now wearing a pair of star-shaped glasses.) Bob: Hmm. Close, but smarter! (Cut to Bob now wearing a pair of bug-eye glasses.) Bob: (gasps) They're perfect! (Bob exits the store.) Bob: Get ready, world! Here comes super-duper-smart Bob! (laughing) Okay, now where am I? (Cut to Bob's POV where everything is blurry, until he runs into a dumpster.) Bob: Gotta let my eyes adjust. (Bob goes to leave, but slips on a banana peel that sends him running into the dumpster again. Bob keeps slipping on the banana peel and running into the dumpster again and again, while Bacon Bill watches.) Bacon Bill: This is hypnotizing. (Cut to Bob laying on the ground in a heap.) Bacon Bill: Wow, Bob! (Bacon Bill leaps in front of Bob and places the banana peel in the dumpster.) Bacon Bill: You're looking super-duper-smart today! Bob: Why, thank you, Bill. Say, have you seen my weather machine? Bacon Bill: Yeah! It's right over there! Bob: Ah, thanks! Ha! Here's my weather machine! (Bob picks up what he thinks if his weather machine.) Bob: (straining) Feels a little heavy. (Camera pans out to show that Bob picked up Madame Blueberry instead.) Madame Blueberry: (gasps) How dare you?! Bob: Ah! Madame Blueberry: I am no weather machine! (gives Bob his weather machine) This is your weather machine! Bob: Ah, yes, of course! I get you two mixed up all the time! Madame Blueberry: Yes, the resemblance is uncanny. But you're looking sharp in those glasses, Bob. Quite smart. Bob: Oh, really? I didn't notice! But if you want to see smart, I'll show you smart! (Scene switches to Bob standing at the gazebo in the town center.) Bob: Here ye! Here ye! I shall now tell you what tomorrow's weather will be! Carrot Man: This guy can control the weather! Run for your lives! (screaming) Bob: No, no, no, no! I can just predict the weather, not control it. Carrot Man: I knew that. Bob: Yes, prepare yourself to be amazed- Beau: What's this? (The pea camerawoman bumps into Beau.) Beau: This crowd has all the markings of something newsworthy, or better yet, sensationalist tripe! Keep rolling! Bob: I can predict it with this machine here, and... (puts on his glasses) with these! Crowd: (chattering excitedly) Carrot Man: With those glasses, he can't be wrong! Bob: Tomorrow's weather will be... (Bob looks at the screen on his weather machine, where there is a picture of a sun, but he can't see it properly, so he has to slightly remove his glasses to properly see the picture. Bob faces the crowd again.) Bob: Sunny! Crowd: (chattering excitedly) Beau: That tomato might be exactly what I'm looking for. To the Action News Team-Mobile! Camerawoman: You mean my family's minivan? Beau: That's right. (Scene switches to Bob and Larry's house.) Bob: I had them eating out of my hands, I tell ya! Such a rush! I still got goosebumps! Oh, you shoulda seen it, Larry! They were all so impressed! And it's all 'cause of these glasses! (The doorbell rings, so Bob goes to answer it, but gets hit by the door when Beau and his camerawoman burst in.) Beau: I'm looking for that brilliant, glasses-wearing, weather-predicting tomato! Have you seen him? Bob: That's... (puts his glasses back on) That's me! Beau: Yes! There you are! I want to make you the new Action News Team weatherman! What do you say? Bob: You want me to be a weatherman? Like on TV and everything? Beau: Like on TV and everything. Camerawoman: It's really more of a podcast. Beau: Shhh! Bob: Count me in! There's actually been some interesting weather systems developing- Beau: Yes, yes, whatever, Einstein. Be in the courtyard tomorrow morning for your first on-camera weather report. Oh-ho-ho! You're gonna be a star, kid! (Beau and his camerawoman leave after that. Bob excitedly jumps around the house.) Bob: Ya-hoo! Can you believe it, Larry? Me! A weatherman! On TV! These glasses got me my dream job! Larry: That's pretty great, Bob, but, I always thought that you'd get to be a weatherman 'cause you're good at predicting it, not 'cause of some glasses. Bob: Glasses, talent, who cares? I'm gonna be on TV! (Scene switches to Bob hopping down the sidewalk while wearing his brand new glasses, before coming up to a lamppost.) Bob: Good morning, Beau Rockley. I'm ready for my close-up! (laughing) Beau: Hey, IQ! I'm over here! Bob: Huh? Oh. (chuckling in embarrassment) (Bob comes up to Beau without his glasses on, before Beau faces him.) Beau: Ready to predict some weather- Whoa! Where did all your smarts go? Bob: I predict a 100 percent chance of... (puts his glasses back on) this guy! Beau: Whoa, that's great, Poindexter. All you gotta do is try to look smart and read these cue cards. Bob: Uh, cue cards? But I can't read anything with these glasses! (chuckling) Beau: What was that? Camerawoman: He said he can't read anything with those- Bob: (shushing) Uh, I was just saying that, uh, I don't need cue cards because I memorized what my weather machine said. There's a chance of a cold snap. Beau: Cold? That's bad news! No one wants to hear about that! So give people what they want, and they want sun, sun, sun! Bob: But there's a chance of a cold- Beau: Which means there's a chance of war too, right? Bob: I suppose. Beau: Great! Here we go! In three, two.. Bob: Hi! This is Bob the Tornado! Wait, uh, tomato! (chuckling) Bringing you the weather door-cast! Eh, taco? Is that taco? Beau: Just read the cue cards! Bob: Uh, looks like there's a chance of... uh, a chance of... Beau: Say it! Say it! It's written right here! Bob: Uh, looks like we're in for (quietly) a five percent chance of (out loud) warm weather. Ichabeezer: What's that? Warm weather? Perfect! Bob: Uh, yeah! Break out the sunscreen and the pool noodles! Madame Blueberry: A sunny day tomorrow? I think I'll have a picnic! Carrot Man: May I join you? Beau: Keep going! They love you, science guy! Madame Blueberry: Tell us more, professor. Bob: Uh, yep! You can trade in your cardigan for a tank top when you feel those UV rays beaming down on you! Ichabeezer: What about rain? Bob: Not on my watch! Madame Blueberry: Say something smart and science-y again! Bob: Atmospheric conditions. Madame Blueberry: Oh! (falls backwards in excitement) Ichabeezer: Amazing! Bob: This is Bob the weatherman signing off! (Everyone leaves after Bob has finished his report.) Beau: That was thrilling! Our ratings will go through the roof! We'll be seeing more of you for sure! (chuckles) Bob: As long as I look smart, maybe it doesn't matter what I say. (Bob leaves, while the camerawoman looks uncertainly at the camera. Scene switches to Bob hopping across the countertop proudly.) Bob: First time on TV. I wonder if I'm gonna get famous? (Bob becomes surprised when he sees a crowd gathered in front of his and Larry's house, just as Bacon Bill turns around.) Bacon Bill: Hey, is that...? (Bob quickly puts his glasses back on.) Bacon Bill: (gasps) It is! (Everyone excitedly crowds around Bob.) Bacon Bill: Can I have your autograph? Madame Blueberry: Oh, you were so smart on TV, Bob! Carrot Man: It's like you and the weather speak to each other! Bob: (chuckles) Thank you, thank you. (chuckles) Be sure to tune in again tomorrow! And don't forget, it's gonna be hot! (Bob enters his house again as the crowd cheers. Scene switches to the next day, where it is now cold and snowing instead of hot and sunny, just as Bob exits the house.) Bob: (shivers) It's freezing! (realizes) Uh-oh! (Bob enters the town center, passing all of the other townspeople, who are miserable standing in the cold.) Madame Blueberry: Oh! P-p-p-perfect d-d-day for a p-p-p-picnic! Bob: What have I done? (Bob approaches Bacon Bill who has a pool inflatable.) Bacon Bill: I was gonna go to the beach! Bob: I'm sorry, I didn't- Carrot Man: TV lied to me! TV lied! (Ichabeezer tries to get his segway started up, but because of how cold it is, the segway swerves out of control with Ichabeezer on it, running into Jimmy, Jerry, and Bacon Bill, the three now stacked on the front of the out-of-control segway.) Ichabeezer: The road's slippery! I can't stop! (The segway still swerves out of control, throwing Jimmy, Jerry, and Bacon Bill off, as Ichabeezer swerves past Laura, then past Bob.) Ichabeezer: Watch where you're going, tomato! (screams) (Ichabeezer then runs into Madame Blueberry, causing her pies to get thrown in the air, one pie landing on Ichabeezer's face.) Ichabeezer: Ow! I can't see! Madame Blueberry: Oh, my picnic! Beau: Ah, there are those signature glasses! Ready for another report? Bob: Everyone trusted me to report the weather accurately, and now they're suffering. Beau: That's not important. What is important is that you look smart! (Beau hops back to the camerawoman and faces Bob.) Bob: No! It's not important to look smart! (Bob takes off his glasses and throws them away.) Beau: (shocked) What are you doing?! Madame Blueberry: Who's this buffoon? Bacon Bill: You're not smart anymore? Carrot Man: Let's kick him out of town! (Madame Blueberry and Bacon Bill stare at the carrot man.) Carrot Man: Too far? Bob: Hello, I need to apologize. I reported that it would be hot today, but as you are all aware, it is cold. I was more concerned with looking smart than being smart, and because of that, you're all freezing. (Cut to Larry watching this on TV at home.) Larry: Go, Bob, go! I'm with you! (Larry throws his glasses as they fly out the house and down below.) Larry: Wait! I actually need those! Bob: So, I promise to do the weather right from now on. (Music starts playing.) Bob: (singing) When our looks are all we care about We can't get past the fog we're in Clouds surround the thoughts we think Bad weather never seems to end But when we think unselfish thoughts Like being loving, true, and kind The overcast will end at last The skies will clear The sun will shine! It's gonna be a bright and sunny day When we don't let our pride Get in the way When we think of others first We can truly say The skies are bright and blue It's a sunny day! Weather may change and life may bring Snow or rain or heat or drought But floods and storms and hurricanes Can't change the things That really count It's not our looks That bring God pleasure Hearts for him is what he treasures He loves us, and that's forever He never changes with the weather! It's gonna be a bright and sunny day When we don't let our pride Get in the way When we think of others first We can truly say The skies are bright and blue It's a sunny day! Thank the Lord for a sunny day! (The song ends.) Bob: And that's today's weather report. This has been your weatherman, Bob the Tornado. Tomato! Tomato! (laughs) (The screen goes dark in a similar matter of a TV set turning off, ending the episode.)Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales in the House transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts